A young child says to his mother, ''Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician.'' She replies, ''Well honey, you know you can't do both.''
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm? A: A tattoo.
Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit? A: ''The Defendant''
Q: What is the difference between a horn section and a '57 Chevy? A: You can tune a '57 Chevy.
Q: What would a cornet player do if he won a million dollars? A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
Q: What's the best way to confuse a drummer? A: Put a sheet of music in front of him.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A: A drummer.
Q: Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car? A: Yeah, it took two hours to get the drummer out.
Q: What's the difference between a cornet player and the rear end of a horse? A: I don't know either.
Q: What's the difference between drummers and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Q: What is another term for trombone? A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.
Q: What do trombone players use for birth control? A: Their personalities
Q:Definition of a bar line? A: A gathering of tuba players at a popular drinking establishment.
Q:What do you do with a horn player that can’t play? A;Give him two sticks, put him in the back and call him a percussionist. Q:What do you do if he can’t do that? A:Take away one of the sticks, put him upfront and call him a conductor.
Q:How do you know a euphonium player is at your door? A:She’s wearing a Pizza Hut hat.
Q:What's the range of a tuba? A:Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
Q:How do you fix a broken tuba? A:With a tuba glue.
Q:What is a gentleman? A: Someone who knows how to play the drums, but doesn't.
Q:How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of split, wrong notes!
Q:What do you get if you cross a serpent with a cornet? A: A snake in the brass!
Q:What is the difference between first cornet and second cornet? A: Usually about two bars!
Q: Why was the musician arrested? A: He was in treble
